Don’t Give Up Your Sex Lives When You Have Kids Guide

It is an understatement to say that raising a child affects every part of our lives. Gender is one place that suffers greatly whenever that bundle of joy enters the house, and as adorable as it may be, it can be a sex life killer. Here are some warning signs that your children are destroying your sex life that you may have overlooked. click reference

* Since they are more comfortable, you are wearing your husband’s undies.

* In sex jokes, you no longer get the punch line.

* It’s a no-no to vocalise. The cot is either too close to the bed or the hallway is insufficiently long.

* The latest “get excited” terms are “child free time.”

* The term “middle man” has taken on a whole new meaning, especially in bed.

* For the better part of the month, the bikini line is non-existent.

* Sleep has become so important that a midnight wakeup is no longer welcome, and may result in a floppy hand in the face or an answer that makes him believe he is sleeping next to the exorcist.

* Your bed companion is now 30 years younger and much shorter.

* Please don’t kiss me! In the last 24 hours, I haven’t brushed my teeth! I believe.

* Your nighttime entertainment has evolved into a book about a kid named Max who is chasing monsters around an island, or the caterpillar who stuffs his face.

* Your husband believes he has given the baby all of his booby rights and an unrestricted access card.

* A kiss goodnight is just a kiss goodnight… and it’s now on the brow.

* Your once-carefully built bedroom, once a haven for intimacy, is now strewn with the copious quantities of baby things you now need within easy reach at 3 a.m.

* Stretch marks and cellulite caused by pregnancy. There’s nothing a big nighty can’t repair.

* Your husband suffers from Penis Minded Symptoms, also known as PMS. They can’t help thinking about sex because they’re so deprived of it. To put it mildly, men with this disorder are grumpy.

* Your husband now throws more tantrums than your two-year-old out of sexual rage.